Let’s pretend for a minute that I’m a mad scientist trying to apply to the Evil League of Evil. Since I like biology, I’ve chosen to make my application a gene-spliced pet monster capable of wreaking havoc with the best of them. Here are the animals I’d splice and why.


Starfish can regenerate lost limbs. What could possibly be more important for a monster bent on mayhem?


Of course, even though I may want my monster to be dangerous, I wouldn’t make the mistake of having my new pet be dangerous to me. Dogs have an innate pack-mentality which would be more than useful for an evil overlord. Dogs are also highly trainable which seems a necessary feature.

Mexican Whiptail Lizard

Mexican whiptail lizards procreate through parthenogenesis, which basically allows for them to have only females in the species. This will become useful because I wouldn’t need to create herds and herds of monsters in order to prevent them becoming too inbred, since parthenogenesis already is pretty much cloning the parent.

Komodo Dragon

It’s a Komodo Dragon FFS! Explanations should not be necessary.


While their requirement for an aquatic environment is a serious drawback for any evil overlord, sharks’ three rows of pointy, mauling teeth that are continually replacing themselves will save a big buck in monster dentistry. Because let’s face it, a monster whose teeth have rotted away is not going to scare anyone.


Just because I can.

This is my way of making a monster, what’s yours?