So I’m taking another class with Dean Wesley Smith, this time on Character and Setting. Here’s one part (out of four) of the first homework assignment, hope you enjoy it:

“Sean, you put that away right this minute!” Gwynnie shouted at her son, already knowing her command would ring on deaf ears.

“Bollocks,” she hissed as, inevitably, the grinning, slightly faded form of Ronald McDonald toppled over. Her laughing pillock of a son was already gone before statue hit the ground. As usual he was nowhere to be found when trouble was abound even if he were the one to cause it. An old biddy having tea gave her a look that said, in no uncertain terms, that she could do better. Right at that moment Gwynnie wouldn’t have argued, but who has their tea in McDonald’s anyway?

Trying to find the little devil, Gwynnie’s eyes fell instead upon Sean twin sister, Siobhan and the last composure she had flitted away.

In the very same instant the friendly voice of the cashier said “Hi, how can I help you?”

The twins, seizing upon their opportunity, magically appeared at the register to demand their favorite treats, each trying to get heard over the other. It soon devolved into a slapfight between them. Gwynnie grabbed one shoulder on each, shoving herself between them.

“I think we will just be having a Big Mac meal and two cheeseburger meals”

The cashier looked down at the two children now having a slapfight around her despite her hands still grasping the kids’ shoulders. Her body was getting jostled as Gwynnie tried to remember why she had wanted kids in the first place. Then Sean grabbed her handbag handle for support and the whole bag went flying, all of its contents scattering in every direction. She sank to her knees, trying to gather the remains of her dignity along with her belongings, apologizing profusely to the people standing in line behind her.

The person behind her – Gwynnie didn’t at first recognize if it was a man or a woman under the mohawk and the mass of piercings and make up – stepped up to the twins. When she knelt to stare at the two of them in the eye, Gwynnie realized that the person was indeed a she. The twins stared back in horrified fascination.

“Now listen up, you li’le bligh’ers. Your mother is obviously very tired, and let’s face it, who woul’n’t be havin’ to live wif the likes o’ you, but for some reason she hasn’t yet taken you off to the furriers which means that somewhere deep down she must love you very, very much. Now me, I don’t have that affliction so if you two don’t start be’aving, I’m just going to nab you and take to the furriers meself.”

Siobhan managed to find her voice and said “Mum will call the police on you.”

“Maybe she will, maybe she won’t. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d be in trouble with the p’lice, innit?”

At this, both twins retreated so far behind Gwynnie’s back that they had to kneel to be hidden by her. To be safe, both of them started handing her the knick knacks that had rolled behind her.
Gwynnie mouthed “Thank you” at the punk rocker who winked back at her. Then she turned back toward the cashier, already waiting with her order.