My sewing machine gave up the ghost this past week. Or rather, I gave up on my sewing machine. Before we moved from our previous place, I managed to mess my machine up somehow. Last spring, when I wanted to start sewing again, I had it serviced and it worked fine again. Now, after I sewed buttonholes, it’s doing the same thing. I think there’s probably something wrong related to that. The machine is already about 20 years old, so it might be time to let it go.

But the trouble is, I’m in the middle of several projects. I need my sewing machine. But my machine will not co-operate. So instead of being able to finish my project in a couple of hours, it’s going to take me a couple of days. And then there’s the next project, which is nowhere near done and it’s going to be a pain in the patella to make without a sewing machine. But, I am going to go ahead and do so. Because, for one, sewing is, at least technically, relaxing. It makes me feel better about the world in general. The next project I’ve got coming up (a Muna & Broad Banksia Tankini) is going to be entirely impossible without a sewing machine. So I need to have it serviced or I need to get a new machine.

This is annoying and frustrating and about a dozen other things. It was also inevitable. This machine has sewn a LOT of clothes. It has served faithfully. I’ve been budgeting for its replacement since last year when I took it in for servicing. I realized that not only had this machine never been serviced before, it had been with me for about 20 years. Nonetheless, my budget for the replacement is not ready for this untimely death. The timing of disaster is hardly ever convenient. Otherwise, it would be a coincidence.

I need to wait a week before I can go visit the options that I have in the shop that serviced my machine previously. And if I buy the machine that is currently only slightly out of my budget but can, with some more spending later, become the machine I wanted, it’ll be a few more days after that before I can start sewing on the new machine. And that’s if Helsinki doesn’t go into complete lockdown next Monday.

I’m actually feeling more sanguine than I thought I would be. Even though it is a disaster, it’s a disaster that came at the most opportune time for me to still be a disaster and not a coincidence. I’m working on projects that can be sewn by hand. I’ve got some money set aside, even if it is not as much as I had intended.

I’m trying very hard to see the currently worsening COVID-19 situation in Finland the same way. I’ve got a job that is possible, even enjoyable to do from home. I spent the past year building the kinds of habits that mean my mental well-being, though precarious, doesn’t actually edge over into depression or anxiety. I’ve built up muscle and endurance which mean that I can work out on my own. But still. Continuing this lockdown is a setback. It’s a disaster, no matter how well-timed or necessary.